Frequently Asked Questions

The intensive offers marriage counseling for couples who are facing a crisis in their marriage, and who may even feel they are headed for divorce. Our intensives are in-depth, extended periods of counseling over multiple days that allow our team of marriage counselors to get to the root of the problem. The approach is grounded in biblical principles that inform our understanding of God’s design for marriage as a sacred, lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. Our counseling tools and aftercare support were created to help couples who align with His intention for marriage and family.

• Get to Root Issues: Traditional counseling can be highly effective and beneficial; however, progress is often slow and frustrating when the issues feel overwhelming. The Intensive format was designed to allow individuals to get to the root of their issues quickly, with ample time to focus on resolution and growth. The extended amount of time spent within the Intensive setting gives couples the opportunity to go deeper without many of the distractions of daily life, and time to stay long enough to consider the solutions available to them.
• Efficiency: One of the first steps in the Intensive process is an extensive assessment and questionnaire prior to your arrival. This allows the counselor to gather background information and get an idea of the best way to proceed before you arrive. You will receive up to a year’s worth of counseling in 3 days, which allows you to make progress in a shorter amount of time than with weekly counseling.
• Our Counselors: Our counselors are specialists in marriage counseling. One analogy we like to use is that of the Mayo Clinic: people go to their regular physician, but they may also be referred to a specialist for help in specific areas. Healing Betrayal Together marriage therapists specialize in the Intensive counseling format to maximize its effectiveness. In addition, several of the Intensive programs provide the perspectives and insights of two professionals, rather than just one.

The Couples Seeking Help

Most programs are “enrichment” focused— they are meant to facilitate growth or      rekindle romance in a relationship that is generally healthy or has a solid foundation. By contrast, our Intensive is for couples who are in a marriage crisis (separated, divorcing, hopeless) due to sexual sin (pornography, affairs, or other betrayal trauma). These couples feel “stuck” and discouraged, and often say they have tried everything else without having a breakthrough or seeing any positive results. Couples often take part in our Intensive when desperate and trying to save their marriage. Frustration and additional harm can be experienced by couples who take part in programs that are not designed to offer what they really need. Some of these programs can open emotional wounds and stir things up, but they are often not designed to help find resolution or navigate emotionally charged areas. Our therapy is recovery, trauma-focused, and   grounded in biblical principles that inform our understanding of God’s design for marriage as a sacred, lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. Healing Betrayal Together tools and aftercare support were created to help couples who align with God’s intention for marriage and family.

Leadership  

Leaders in some programs are kind people with a heart for marriages but are not trained professionals. One key distinction of our program is that all our counseling staff members are trained and licensed counselors/therapists (requiring a minimum of a master’s degree, licensure requirements by the state, thousands of hours of experience and supervision, etc.). While pastors, lay helpers, and marriage mentors can be wonderful facilitators offering compassion, life experience, and testimonies, that is quite different from the type of assistance provided by a trained professional equipped with the knowledge, skills, and experience to address more complex dynamics and deeper needs.

Format 

This is the most significant distinction. Healing Betrayal Together Intensives are NOT a typical seminar, workshop, or marriage retreat. There is not a fixed schedule of specific lectures and presentations. We do not offer a cookie-cutter approach to the situations and problems you are experiencing. Our team of clinical professionals has collaborated very closely over the years to develop a personalized approach along with specific techniques that best meet the needs of each couple and encourage change in their relationship. We gather detailed information from each spouse prior to your arrival so that our counselors can get a sense of the unique concerns to consider for each person. 

Our Intensive addresses a variety of topics including addiction, infidelity, communication, intimacy anorexia, financial strains, blended families, children, and career conflicts. It offers a unique, holistic, and scripturally based counseling approach that combines the heart, the mind, and a couple’s faith. We include self-care, establishing boundaries, codependency, cognitive behavioral therapy, and trauma focused therapy.  This approach has proven amazingly effective. 

Just like a physical doctor can’t call his patients and say, “I think you have a cold–please come in for an appointment”, our ethics don’t allow us to pursue your spouse on your behalf. We have a few recommendations to begin the conversation with your spouse:

• Present this as something you’ve come across that you are interested in trying. Ask if he/she would be willing to peruse our website with you.
• Don’t use high pressure. Allow them the safety of coming to the decision in their own time.
• Your spouse may feel better to hear that we are not interested in forcing or guilting anyone to stay in their marriage. We create a safe and healing environment for the individual first, and then the couple. It may help your spouse to see this as an opportunity to find healing for their own heart.
• You are welcome to give your spouse our number (256-561-9996), so they have their own questions answered safely and confidentially.
• Our FAQs ‘How to Talk to Your Spouse About an Intensive‘ sheet for ideas and tips on how to approach the subject of an intensive program.  

Additionally, in the Intensive programs we emphasize the importance of “self-care.” If your spouse is unwilling to attend an Intensive, we still want to help your heart walk this journey in a healthy way. While most of our programs are designed for couples in crisis, we do have a program that is designed to help individuals get to a healthy place personally and be an encouragement toward positive change relationally. Call us for personalized information on our other options.

We hear this concern quite often. For many, it sounds intimidating to think of sharing in a group setting. Many couples arrive dreading the group marriage counseling format, and yet the group format has very high satisfaction rate in several studies. The group setting does not use a cookie-cutter format and is very customized and practical.

Benefits of a Group Intensive:

• Many people think their issues are uniquely weird or bad. When you see others dealing with similar issues, there’s a big relief to move from thinking “We’re terrible!” to “We’re not terrible, we’re just struggling!”
• Private counseling only allows you to bring up issues you are aware of. We often see people in the group setting witness things in other couples that they realize are true of them, too. Without the group, they may have never known the issue existed in them or their marriage.
• Many who struggle with affairs, pornography, or childhood abuse have found it very therapeutic to discuss their battles with others in the group under the leadership of a counselor. Processing through private struggles with other caring people and a caring counselor helps the person not feel so isolated and alone in their struggles. 
• It’s common to feel emotionally overwhelmed when in the “hot seat” of therapy. This can hamper your brain from remembering and applying the principles of the session. Group work gives your brain some “rests” to learn, grow, and heal in a less emotionally charged way. We often hear from people that some of their biggest insights come from what they see happening in the other couples.

You can call us and we will answer your questions about the group setting.

There are three circumstances when we may suggest that a couple seek an alternative route:

1. Current substance addiction: The individual would need to enter, or be actively involved in, a recovery or rehabilitation program before signing up for a Healing Betrayal Together Intensive. To have a fair chance of being effective, individuals need to be attentive throughout the Intensive without chemical influence or impairment.
2. Current physical or emotional affair: The program’s effectiveness depends on two individuals who are focusing on their marriage. The affair must be cut off, and both partners need to focus and commit to the present relationship prior to registering for an Intensive. Even if you are unsure about the future, there needs to be at least a temporary commitment to focusing on this opportunity with an open heart.
3. Case of domestic abuse or violence: We would need to do additional screening to determine if our programs would be the best fit for you.

The Intensive is self-pay or private pay.   We do not file with insurance companies for

the Intensive.  Couples therapy is not covered under most standard health insurance plans. Here’s a quick explanation.   

Mental health services coverage is included in Affordable Care Act (ACA) insurance. It is listed as an “essential benefit.” However, couples therapy for most relationship issues is not offered under ACA policies.  Why not?  It is not a treatment for an illness or mental health issue. Instead, it is a treatment used to help two people improve their relationship.  It is not usually considered “medically necessary,” because medical necessity requires that health services treat a disease, injury, condition, or illness. 

For that reason, we endeavor to provide a low-cost option to help those struggling in their marriage.

• The closest airport is Huntsville International Airport. It is located 20 minutes from our office location.
• Nashville International Airport is located 116 miles from Huntsville. It takes 1 hour and 40 minutes to drive.
• Birmingham International Airport is 98 miles south of Huntsville.

We recommend checking the flight and available cost in making your decision about flying.

Our Statement of Faith reads as follows:

• We believe the Bible to be the inspired, only infallible, authoritative Word of God. (Matthew 4:4, Matthew 5:18, 2 Timothy 3:16-17, 2 Peter 1:20-21)
• We believe that there is one God, eternally existent in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. (Deuteronomy 6:4, 2 Corinthians 13:14)
• We believe in the deity of our Lord Jesus Christ, in His virgin birth, in His sinless life, in His miracles, in His vicarious and atoning death through His shed blood, in His bodily resurrection, in His ascension to the right hand of the Father and in His personal return in power and glory. (Zechariah 4: 4-11, Matthew 24-25, Luke 1:35, John 1:1, John 1:14, John 14:1-3, Acts 1:11, Romans 3:24-26, Hebrews 7:25, Titus 2:13, Revelation 19-20)
• We believe that for the salvation of lost and sinful humanity, regeneration by the Holy Spirit through faith in Jesus Christ is absolutely essential. (Genesis 1:26, Genesis 3:1-24, John 1:12, Romans 3:23, Romans 5:10-12, Ephesians 1:17, Ephesians 2:8-12, Titus 3:5-6)
• We believe in the present ministry of the Holy Spirit by whose indwelling the Christian is enabled to live a godly life. (John 3:3-7, John 16:7-11, Romans 8:9, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Galatians 5:16-25)
• We believe in the resurrection of both the saved and the lost, they who are saved unto the resurrection of life and they who are lost unto the resurrection of damnation. (Matthew 25:31-46, John 5:28-29, John 11:25-26, 1 Thessalonians 4:14, Revelation 20:12-13)
• We believe the institution of marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to model the love of Christ for His people and to serve both the public and private good as the basic building block of human civilization. Marriage is intended to be a thriving, lifelong relationship between one man and one woman. (Genesis 2:22-24; Matthew 19:4-6)
• We believe in the value of male and female. God created humans in His image, intentionally and immutably male and female, each bringing unique and complementary qualities to human sexuality and to relationships. Sexuality is a glorious gift from God to be offered back to Him in marriage for procreation, union, and mutual delight. (Romans 12:1-2)

The Statement of Faith does not exhaust the extent of our beliefs. The Bible itself — as the inspired and infallible Word of God that speaks with final authority concerning truth, morality, and the proper conduct of humanity — is the sole and final source of all that we believe. The therapeutic counseling approach and tools used at Healing Betrayal Together are based on biblical principles that inform our understanding of God’s design for marriage and family.